A Place for Uniqueness, Questioning, Musing, and Celebrating
I have been having an especially difficult time with my oldest today. She is pulling away from me, and it's breaking my heart. I was on my knees (literally) tonight seeking comfort and guidance, praying the armor of God over my stubborn child, and sat so long my lower legs went to sleep.
I was listening for a response at the time, so I shifted into a more comfortable position so I could focus - and my breath was taken away by the pain and tingling that came along with the blood rushing back into my legs. Then I was struck with a thought. When something - a life, a relationship, a heart - has been deprived of the blood (Jesus, anyone?) essential for proper functioning, pain may be part of the process of correcting the deprivation. It may get worse as it gets better. Did you hear the AS? Not before - AS.
The two conditions - pain and progress - may be happening at the same time. The pain may, in fact, be ESSENTIAL to the process of changing hearts, relationships, and lives - particularly when it involves admitting faults and shortcomings that have added to the problem.
The good news is that change can be happening in the midst of that pain. You don't have to wait it out - you have to LIVE IT OUT! Live it out and let God do the heavy lifting. Don't run from the pain - it may be the very catalyst that brings about the changes you seek.
Thank you, Lord, for your unfailing love in the midst of all our failings. May you use this pain to refine and reshape our relationship with each other and with you. In the precious name of Jesus I pray - Amen.
You know the song "No Rain" by Blind Melon? The one with the video where the weird little girl dressed like a bee tap dances through life trying to find kindred spirits and a place to be herself? That's me.